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Adam Ant

Lipstick. Why is it Worn?

Lipstick. Why is it worn?

 

The assumption is that lipstick as with any other cosmetics is to make women and indeed on occasions for men throughout history, to become more desirable. To appear more alluring to the opposite number, and that such measures will assure acceptance, secure approval and eventually a shag. My wife has already wasted hundreds of pounds on the stuff, in that case. To her credit, she spends a lot of time on her appearance and ‘polishes’ up well. Only the other day she looked radiant when all signs of inexorable ageing had been skilfully concealed. She still makes my heart jump when I see her, hence the betablockers and hand held defribillator.

 

Men have worn lipstick in the past as fashion dictates, and for health. During King Charles reign and at the time of the aristocracy men would wear all kinds of blusher and long wigs. Why? Headlice, was rife amongst all people because they hadn’t invented insecticide shampoo, and as we all know, rampant parasites will destroy the good health of the scalp and hair loss and even cause death by anaemia. So long wigs and a rouge colour were used to hide a pallid and jaundiced complexion amongst the wealthy. Poor people always looked pale and drawn.

 

So, my research bears out that facial colour or a ruddy cheeked person is associated with a healthy person. Either way, make-up makes you look ‘healthier’. This is how the human population perpetuates. Make-up is essential for the world’s survival.

 

Lipstick is related to the human fascination and obsession with blood.

 

Jews sacrificed animals as part of their custom and drained the blood of animals. They were forbidden to drink blood as it was sacred. Judaism since the time of Moses has been draining the blood of animals into the ground. Ashes to ashes dust to dust. They believe Adam was made from the dust of the earth and his lifeblood as all who die is returned to the earth. Jews today still will accept blood transfusions to preserve life in medical emergencies but will not eat pork or cloven hoofed animals because they are thought ‘unclean’. Also they believe that Satan and his demons have cloven hooves depicted by ancient Scribes who described the angels of darkness in Pentateuch and the book of Revelation. 

 

The Jews of the Bible also believed that a woman on her menstrual cycle was unclean for at least 7 days (The book of Leviticus) 

 

Pagans, Satanists love a drop of blood to drink. Warriors and barbarians would smear the blood of their enemies in times of victory all over each other.

Shamans and witch doctors. Voodoo and the occult have ceremonies of drinking human blood to prolong the life of their community. Today we have aerobics and liposuction.

 

Early medicine prescribed leeches to be laid on skin to drink blood to effect a cure. This was called ‘Letting’. Other leeches who enjoy ‘letting’ are called landlords.

 

North American Indians will mix the blood of other fellow hunters to become ‘blood brother’s’ once again the significance of blood.

 

Corpses are given a makeover to make them look a lot better than before they died, which is a bit like rendering a house that has already become condemned.

 

Lipstick is nothing to do with courtship ritual, but it is still a ritual for most insecure people. To make you feel pretty when you are born ugly. In Beverley Hills, hags will go to any length to appear healthy and young by having one facelift after another. So, thats when they try and smile their knickers wrap them up like a spinning window blind out of a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

 

Adam Ant wore lipstick as with other New Romantic pop bands of the eighties because he was a closet homosexual. It was a fact that he had often had his own ‘Ants’ in his pants. That bloke out of The Cure still thinks he looks cool to wear make up even if he looks like an old man who caught his head in a carwash.

 

Punk-rockers, Goths, prove that makeup is purely ritual. A tribal expression to identify with other people who don’t have a job or know wear the soap is.

 

 A woman is usually already beautiful without all that crap they spread over their faces. Perhaps they should remember that a rabbit or mouse probably had to wear that lipstick first, probably died in its cage, without even seeing the inside of a nightclub. Girls who dance in cages in those sort of places haven’t a clue what lab rats go through. How many rodents do you see sliding up and down brass poles, expecting money stuffed in their thong? None.

 

Men don’t want painted trollops.  As long as the bikini line isn’t down by the knees that is. Unless, of course you are a continental ‘Mature Lady’ and only receive incoming calls.

 

I’m in touch with my feminine side. I have a twin sister and we used to dress up sometimes, but I drew the line at lipstick. Then the Internet came along and I stopped all that. 

 

Lipstick wearing is the media expecting us to follow ideals of what tribal identity is all about. If these glossy magazines had it their way we would all walk about looking like right clowns. Life is not a catwalk for everyone. I agree, lips are not always our best feature and may need enhancement. We can't all have a voluptuous mouth like Jagger or Jolie but too much lipgloss and Botox can make your jaw look like a bouncy castle, and we don't want that do we?

 

 

About the Author

I write humour and spoof articles online. I have run two sites www.tintota.com and www.fugitiveauthor.com.

I started writing humour because I think the brits invented the best kind of irony and I have spent most of adult life nailing an edge of surrealism to my own particular brand. I ask the virtually impossible by inviting unique satire writers to be funnier than me and pin their star on my wagon....I'm still waiting?

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